A man was addressing the ball when an announcement came over the loud-speaker:

“Will the gentleman on hole number one please not hit from the Ladies’ tee box.”

The man backs away, a little distracted, then approaches his ball again. As he does, the same announcement comes over the loud-speaker:

“Will the gentleman on hole number one please not hit from the Ladies’ tee box.”

The man is getting irritated now, and after backing away from his shot, approaches his ball one more time.

This time the announcement came: “We really need the gentleman on hole number one to move off of the Ladies’ tee box!”

To which the man turns around and yells:

“And I really need the announcer to shut up and let me play my second shot!”

Four retired men play golf together once a week for many years. One day on 16th hole that runs along side the highway, a funeral procession drives by. One man says to the others, “Stop and remove your hats, show some respect.”

Afterward, one of the other men asked him what got into him. “I have never seen you show anybody any respect.”

The first man replied: “I was married to her for 65 years.”